He wants to elope, I want a wedding, what do we do?

So, you're engaged. Congrats!

If you've started talking about how you'll celebrate, you might be just finding out you have quite different ideas about your nuptials. This can be tricky. Lots of couples don't spend any time talking about what kind of wedding they want and working out you feel differently can be a bit of a shock.

So, how can couples find a compromise, so both partners are excited about the big day?

Firstly, I recommend a great coffee and a big chat. Usually, I would say take it out and about to your favourite café, but for now, I guess we are all sticking close to home. 

It can help if you both come prepared. Nothing major, but you could write down the three things that are most important to you about your wedding day. 

And, if your partner wants to elope, there's probably a good reason they feel that way. Here are a few things that could be on their mind:

Family stuff

Have a chat with your partner about family dynamics. If there's any drama with divorced parents or rifts between siblings, then it might seem more manageable for them to avoid the whole thing and elope. Just talking about it as a couple will help clear the air, so you know what their real concerns are.

Money

Let's face it, weddings can be pricey, and your partner might think that getting married is going to set you back years financially. There are lots of cool ways to celebrate with your family and friends without spending squillions, so opening up about the budget early is an excellent place to start. It can be really fun thinking out of the box to plan a heartfelt DIY wedding.

Shyness

For people who don't like to be in the spotlight, being the centre of attention at a big wedding can be daunting. Some people are really nervous about public speaking – or even having their photo taken! This one is hard to get around, but just talking about it as a couple and keeping those anxieties in mind when you make decisions will help you plan as a team.

Talk it out

Once you've gotten to the bottom of why your partner wants to elope, you can explain why it's important for you to celebrate your wedding with the people you love. Put all your cards on the table and let them know you're willing to compromise. Maybe you end up eloping to a beautiful remote spot and throwing a big party afterwards. Whatever you choose, taking the time to talk about what's important to you both can only be good.

Ryan xxx